Let’s Laugh!

Think you're having a bad day?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, like in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric coffee pot. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with her son's baseball bat, breaking his arm in two places. Up until that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

STILL think you're having a bad day?

10 Commandments for Pastor’s Wives

1. Thou shalt never have a bad attitude
2. Thou must never become sick
3. Thou must maintain total control over all children (both yours and other peoples) at all times
4. Thou must be ready to meet all demands from thy husbands flock at all times
5. Thou must be a proper diplomat with all knowledge of everything going on in thy husbands church
6. Thou must be a gourmet chef ready to turn out any kind of food for any function without any prior notice

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate.  You do nothing but sleep for six
months.  I could deal with that.
 
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.  I could deal
with that too.
 
If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts)
while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs.  I
could definitely deal with that.
 
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.  You swat anyone

Real Classifieds
AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE . . . ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR:

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL - 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOUR'S DOG

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG.

GERMAN SHEPHERD. 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FREE: 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR, 2 BTH HOME.
 

A Bit of Humor…..Did you know?  The ice cream flavor you choose says a lot about your personality...
 
A study conducted for Edy's (Dreyer's) Grand Ice Cream in California discovered these patterns in personality types and their favorite ice cream flavors:

If you get a thrilla from VANILLA–You are a colorful, impulsive
risk-taker who sets high goals and has high expectations of yourself. You enjoy close family relationships.

• Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.
• Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
• Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: they would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
• One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
• It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.