Are you afraid of the dark?
We have all just come through the Y2K, New Year /New Millennium porthole to face the future with what? A sense of anticipation? A sense of foreboding? A let down feeling of "it's just the same o' same o"? What is it that comes to mind when you think about the year 2000?
During the final days of 1999 I walked through a period of seeing it as a dark, black hole. Just empty. With no scheduled dates of ministry that we could work toward it was simply a blank calendar. For some reason, this brought me face to face with fear. (It came from the fact that Darryl and I have a traveling ministry and there is no set schedule for any ministry time, as of yet, during 2000!)
Have you discovered any big, blank, dark holes that bring fear into your life? Have you ever identified the valleys of the shadows of death that would hinder your joy and faith? This was one of those times in my life. I am thankful that the Holy Spirit comes to us with God's Word during these times of turmoil. He simply spoke the words, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?" I began a meditation on light at that point. What is it about the light that brings peace and scatters the darkness and the unknown?
The Message Bible states: “I am the world's light. No one who follows me stumbles around in darkness. I provide plenty of light to live in. (John 12: 46).
God provides plenty of light to live in. What a concept. What a wonderful reminder that God already knows what is going to happen this year, this month , even this day. Why was I worried about the year--when I don't even know what a day will bring? To meditate and consider that the Light was with me--brought me to peace and liberation. The light was leading me into the unknown, but it was only unknown to me! He already has it in hand.
But what about the UNKNOWNS? The disasters, the perils that could be waiting? Two days ago, our daughter called with a prayer request. She and her husband are youth ministers at their church. One of the youth members had brought a friend a few times. They were informed that this young man had committed suicide two days after Christmas. He was from a Christian family, had gone to Christian schools, but was also a victim of a family history of chronic depression. I am sure that these parents did not have written on their family calendar, December 30, "bury our 17-year-old son". But it happened. And yes, there may be those unexpected things that come into our calendars this next year. Are we to be afraid of those entries? No. Our God is in control. He is aware of those knowns and unknowns.
Light, as defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary: "something that makes vision possible". What a concept. We need light to have vision. Without vision, people perish, the Word says. Not only do we have access to the Light through Jesus Christ, he has called us to become light. We can become beacons who help light the way for others who do not know the Light.
To become Real Women of God-- women who are authentic and true, we must allow the light to shine into our lives. For as much as we become fearful of the darkness, we also can become fearful of the Light. For Light exposes our weaknesses. How many of us long for spot lights to focus on our strengths, and wish to leave those areas of sin and struggles in the dark? But, sisters, I believe even as we long for the light to eradicate fear--we need to long for the light to illuminate our weaknesses.
In Kay Lee's "response to the question of the issue", (see below) she shares where she has come to peace with her diabetes and other issues of weakness. She believes in healing and miracles--they as a family have seen many, but at this point in time, she still has to deal with her diabetes and her tiredness. To come to an acceptance that things are not perfect is a liberating thing. Kay says, "I discovered that I had a choice. I could either learn to accept that I was in weakness and pain and cry out to God or I could try harder (or eat, or drink, or take any other addiction to ease the pain). He began by redefining success for me."
God knows us. He knows our strengths and weaknesses. Do we know ourselves? Can we come to know Him this way? Let us not be afraid of the Light shining into our whole life. Let us come to trust Him with the weak areas as well as the strong areas. As we accept ourselves in our weak areas, we will learn how to pass that acceptance on to others.
For once you were in darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of light--lead the lives of those native-born to the Light. For the fruit--the effect, the product--of the light, the Spirit [consists} in every form of kindly goodness, uprightness of heart and trueness of life. And try to learn [in your experience] what is pleasing to the Lord; [let your lives be constant] proofs of what is most acceptable to Him. Ephesians 5:8-10 (The Amplified Bible)
The darkness that clouded my vision and gave rise to the fear has departed. Our calendar has not had any additions--just the beginnings of potential dates and queries about ministry times, but my heart is at rest, as I walk in the light as he is in the light.
Psalm 43:3 says, Oh, send out Your light and Your truth. Let them lead me. Let them bring me to Your holy hill. Sisters, this is my prayer for us: "God, lead us by your light and your truth." And by this we would understand that the entrance of his words gives light. It gives understanding to the simple. We have nothing to fear. Our as yet, unanswered prayers are in His hand, and at His right timing He will show us why He seemingly has delayed answering. He is God and He is light and we can trust Him.
- Martha Rodman