Leaders are by the nature of their job description, question askers and question answerers. However, many leaders seem to be “questionphobic”.  They attempt to avoid putting themselves in vulnerable positions.  Perhaps past hurts, insecurities or pride causes leaders to skirt around questions their followers may ask.   I confess, I have been a closet “questionphobic”.  God began to help me deal with these issues.  I could blame my past (always a convenient excuse!), lack of training in exactly how to respond, or simply fear and insecurity.  God said, pride and fear.  What humbling that revelation brought.

Jesus certainly seemed to embrace questions.  He had his share of honest, tricky, and ignorant questions.  He answered questions from naysayers as well as from those who were seeking truth.  He had many techniques for responding to those questions.  One example, He liked to answer hard questions with hard questions. He also used question-asking to provide instruction opportunities as He taught.  Study the Scriptures and see how Jesus handled the issue of questions.  

Jesus is not afraid of our questions.  He is not intimidated by them. He is not nervous about them.  Why then do so many of His leaders struggle with people asking them questions?  If we are to become like Jesus, then we must become comfortable asking as well as answering questions.

Leaders: Asking the Right Question (Information, Insight, and Instruction)

Questions are asked for many different reasons.  Some are asked to find simple information, “How do you prepare your teaching material?”  Other questions are used to seek a deeper insight into a situation, “How will the change in schedule affect your life?”  Or instruction, Then Jesus said to his critics, “I have a question for you. Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?” Luke 6:9.  

Questions are excellent tools to gain entrance into other people’s thoughts, ideas and feelings.  A well crafted question can cut through many layers and expose the true thoughts and intents of the heart. As a student desiring a teaching certificate from the University of Washington, I learned how difficult it is to actually write clearly stated test questions.  If I wanted to accurately measure a student’s knowledge, I had to have a test that accurately reflected the material covered in a very clear and concise manner--not an easy thing to do.  As a young teacher, I felt the test results reflected my ability to teach the students under my care.  If they did well, I would feel good.  If they did poorly, I felt bad about myself, often fighting anger and frustration at “Why they weren’t they getting it?”.  I could have continued teaching without being concerned but those feelings actually motivated me to try a little harder to reach them with the material.  I set myself to become more innovative and creative in my approach, which made me a better teacher.  

The same is true for ministry leaders.  If we discover, through asking questions, that those we are leading do not comprehend our vision or understand the ‘whys’ of our methods, we can become angry and frustrated. Or, we can learn to communicate in clearer or different manners.  Most ministry leaders do not have the opportunity to craft written test questions to see if their students are getting it.  They usually discover the test results by overhearing conversations, watching behaviors or simply by asking direct questions.

It takes courage and faith to ask some questions.  It takes courage and faith to hear some answers and it takes the love of God operating in and through our lives to answer questions without reacting in the flesh and hurting rather than healing. We can find comfort in knowing not all people received Jesus’ answers.  Not all people will receive your answers.  But most will.  Most will be encouraged.  Most will listen.  Most will be better off for it.  

Guidelines for answering questions

Dealing with differences of opinion: What if someone has a different opinion?  One that falls in a grey area?  We must be grounded in His love and secure in our calling to allow differing opinions on those things that even theologians interpret differently. (Example: Women’s role in leadership)  We must be clear about those things in which the Word is clear.   

Create a Safe Environment: for the leader and the follower.
Safety: If you as a leader desire to know the heart of your followers, you must cultivate a safe environment.  An environment where honest questions can be asked, and honest answers received.   I learned, as a public school teacher, that students do not respond freely if they do not feel safe.  It was important that I, as the teacher, made sure each student felt it was ok to ask a “stupid” question, knowing that question would be answered in a polite and respectful manner.  This is the same in ministry.  Cultivating a culture of safety takes time and grace from the leader.  Consistency in Christ-like behavior is crucial to build this “safe zone”.  No personal attacks allowed.

Prepare: Before beginning a question and answer or discussion time, take the time to set the parameters.  Re-focus the group on the topic.  Take the time to pre-think the questions in advance that will most likely give you the answers you need (not necessarily the ones you might like to have!) to help the group to grow.    

Timing is important:  Many leaders ask questions but do not give the listener time to consider their answers before they move along to the next question.  If people feel a time crunch, they will not freely share their thoughts or opinions. You may get an answer, but it may not be the fullest or most honest answer needed.  Make room for the “ponderers”--  these are people who need time to really think about their answers before they speak.  Some of the greatest insights can come from these deeper wells.  These folks may do better when given the questions before hand so they can pray and think through their answers.

Listening:  When you ask a question, take the time to really listen to the answer.    Keep your eyes focused on them.  Concentrating on their words as well as their body language will help create a safe setting.  If, as a leader, you hear them, they will be much more likely to listen to what you are saying.  There are ways to politely and respectfully short circuit the ‘talkers’, those who like to take up more than their share of the time allotted, but they need to be heard as well. Listen to the potential questions they are not asking aloud behind the ones they are.

Trust:  Trust the Holy Spirit will bring the proper answer, or get comfortable with “I don’t know, but I will find out for you”.  Be humble.  

Choose:   Choose to trust the Holy Spirit in helping your followers learn and develop the ability to ask and answer questions.  Model how you would like it done.  Be an example of the believer in this area.   Ultimately they are God’s children and He knows how to help them.  Choose to intercede for them.  

Guidelines for those asking questions:

Check your motives.  Jesus answered true seekers with helpful answers.  He responded to accusative questioners with revelation about themselves.   Make sure your motive for asking the question is truth.  

Timing:  Make sure your leader has enough time to answer your questions when you ask them.  Schedule an appointment if necessary.

Listen:  Listen to the answer before you ask another question.  

Trust:  Trust the heart of your leader to be seeking and hearing from the Lord.  Deal with any anger or frustration issues with the Lord, in prayer first.  Practice forgiveness.

With much love, Martha