Guest Article by Kim Simmons

Change is in the air. Soon tawny leaves and cool breezes will overtake the hot, dry days of summer. A new season will arrive. School days and busy sport schedules will fill the calendar. Lazy days and evening barbecues will have to be put on the back burner for another nine months.

I relish these changes in the seasons. That's why I'm grateful to live in the Northwest where I can experience crisp fall; cold and wet winter; fresh green spring; and warm, lazy summer. Every season is perfect. "To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1.

Change is part of God's plan. No matter how hard we try to hold back change, it comes. I have been learning a lot about change lately. One thing I know for sure, God doesn't change. He expects us to. He created us and all the elements of His creation to change. Why is it so hard then for us to go through change?

The hardest change I have had to go through started last spring. The same day I learned that my father went to the hospital seriously ill, I was informed that my teaching assignment was being changed after 14 years. I was being involuntarily moved from the high school to the middle school. So after the principal told me, I walked back to my room and cried. My classroom had become my world; my world was now being shaken. Then the Lord surrounded me with "peace that passes all understanding." I prepared lesson plans, called for a substitute, and left the school. I was already numb with concern for my dad, and now I was in shock over the school change.

My husband quickly located a plane ticket for me, and I flew down to Santa Clara, California, to see my father and be with mom. My sister arrived also. Mom really needed both of us there. Dad was out of ICU, but he had pneumonia. It was so hard to see my father, usually so alert and capable, incoherent and unable to function. He was not happy about needing help with eating. He wanted to be out of the hospital. In his coherent times, he tried to joke with us. When he would mumble and ramble in thoughts and conversation, probably due to the medication, I would have to fight back tears or walk out of the room.

In the waiting room I struggled with many thoughts. Dad and I were very close. When Parkinson disease took over his hands, hindering his ability to write, he would e-mail me. He was so proud of his accomplishments on his computer. He would share ideas, places, and people with me. I didn't want to lose those precious times of communication. I didn't want to lose my dad.

Also, I wanted to talk over with my dad the devastating news of my teaching change, but I couldn't. Being sick, it would worry him too much. I knew he would have listened, concerned and caring, and then in his quiet way he would share some wisdom. Being a teacher himself, he always seemed to understand.

While dad was in the hospital those first few days, we spoke with his pastor. We were reassured that dad was ready to go be with Jesus. He had prayed for forgiveness. He confided to us that he wanted to be sure that he had not offended anyone. I couldn't imagine that he ever had. He was always so kind and considerate to everyone.

A week later he went to be with Jesus. My sister and I helped mom make plans for the memorial service the following week. God comforted us with the knowledge that dad was with Jesus and not suffering any more. Also, God seemed to remind me personally that He was with me, even as I grieved for my dad and struggled with the school change.

Returning to school after those three emotional weeks was difficult. But my students surrounded me with flowers, cards, and hugs. They were great. The faculty was loving and supportive also. They grieved with me for my dad, and they were angry over the transfer.

Changes were taking place at home also. Our youngest daughter was trying to finish her senior year. The death of her grandfather was very hard on her, but she was able to express her grief in her writing and art. Finally, graduation arrived. It was a happy day for our daughter, but sad because her grandmother arrived for the ceremony without grandpa.

When school ended, I packed up my entire classroom. Some of the boxes were moved to my new classroom and some were moved home. After the last load, I drove home with a heavy heart. I put the entire teaching concern in a box for the summer. I turned down offers to attend middle school English workshops. I wasn't interested. I was holding onto anger.

June and July were busy with wedding preparations for our middle daughter. August finally arrived and so did a beautiful wedding in our backyard. Sadly, we were all aware of the absence of grandfather.

Finally, knowing that I had to, I went to my new classroom and began to prepare for the approaching school year. The Lord helped me. At some point in August, the Lord told me that I had to adjust my attitude. He probably had been trying to tell me for a long time, but I finally heard Him. Basically, He seemed to tell me that I had a choice. I could be angry and hold resentment over the teaching change and ultimately be miserable and make everyone else miserable, or I could forgive, move on, and enjoy teaching again. I didn't want to hear that, but I knew He was right. He is always right. I had to change. He never changes.

I changed my attitude and forgave. That was tough. I knew that God was with me and that I could teach where God placed me. I love to teach. So I prepared my room and my heart. The busy school year was full of learning and changing for me. When February arrived, I realized that God truly had helped me day by day, and that I was even enjoying teaching at the middle school.

At the end of the school year a three-year teacher shared with me her thanks. She said she knew that it had been a tough year for me with the change and all, but that she appreciated my good attitude. Also, I received a nice thank you note from one of my students and his mother. I know that God had me where he needed me. I look back now and see how I grew and learned from that difficult change in my life.

I still grieve for my dad, but I am holding on to all the wonderful memories and writing about some (using his computer.) When painful changes occur, God understands and comforts. Only He can truly understand the pain of losing a loved one. Every time I cry out to God, He wraps His loving arms around me and I am refreshed.

So if you are going through a difficult change, I encourage you to look to God, who never changes, and know that He is with you every step of the way. In fact, He goes before you and He is your rear guard too.

Change can be uncomfortable. Not bad, just uncomfortable. When change is about to occur, I know that I really need God' help. I also know that change is God's way of moving us out of our comfort zone into a place where He can create us to be more like Him. Romans 12:2 says, "And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God."

Kim is a wife and mother. Kim and Gene have four children and seven grandchildren. She is ordained and licensed as a Christian minister with her husband in August 1981.  They pastor All the World Christine Center in Grants Pass, OR.  They have been pastoring 20 years this Easter, 2001 Kim has taught 15 years as of 2001 in Rogue River, OR.