Encouragement; that’s what the E in REAL WOMEN! stands for. God, by His leading, I believe, would have us take a look at some specific areas where we need to examine our level of encouragement—the encouragement of our husbands. The men in our lives are a gift from God. They need up-lifting and encouraging and you can choose to freely minister to this need. This should be an obvious, simple, already in place part of our relationship, but sisters, we need to be careful it isn’t something we have left on the shelf—only to be brought out for “company”.

The word Encourage as the dictionary suggests has several different synonyms. The word itself suggests the raising of one’s confidence especially by an external agency. We are called to be that “external agency” for our husbands. Begin to pray for opportunity to sincerely, with intention raise your husband’s confidence. Paul states in Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Have you taken the time to see where your husband needs to be built up? Where there may be areas where the enemy has been using his battering ram against the one you love.

Hearten is another synonym. It implies the lifting of dispiritedness or despondency by an infusion of fresh courage or zeal. Wow, sometimes this will take some digging of our wells to be able to draw enough fresh courage or zeal from our own wells to be able to share it with our husbands. Are you willing to dig deep from the Word of God or to spend time in prayer and worship to bring a fresh word of encouragement to your husbands? This will pay dividends to your relationship as well as to your ministry. We want our spouse to be able to do the same for us—let’s take the initiative during hard times and give him a fresh drink of grace, hope and joy. Darryl needed this encouragement the other day, instead I confess that I blew it. By my words, I added more discouragement and distress. Darryl was quite honest about how I had “hit him when he was down”. I felt awful—especially because I had been writing this article! (It was the first one, see page 3). I asked the Lord “what could I do to help mend the breach?” He gave me the idea of throwing a party for just the two of us. Andrew was gone for the night, and so when Darryl returned he had shrimp, brie and me! He told me later that it really made a hard time much easier to handle.

Another synonym, embolden implies the giving of courage sufficient to overcome timidity or reluctance. This is an area where we can give encouragement in such a way that it helps our husbands overcome a weak area. Perhaps they are feeling God’s press to expand their ministry or step out in a new or different manner. They may need our steady hand of stability and faith that will push them over the top to achieve the next level of God’s call. One can chase a thousand, but two can chase ten thousand—how important it is to let our husbands know by active, intentional, supportive means that we believe in their call and their gifting.

Encourage, embolden, hearten: what wonderful words and what great opportunities we have to share these gifts as we draw from our God, the Great Encourager. He will give us the insight we need to customize them for those closes to us as well as the stranger we may meet this day. It is an investment that will pay great dividends in your marriage, for your children and for your ministry. Of course we need not limit our encouragement to just our husbands—everyone we meet could probably use a deposit in their “courage bank!”

Here are some encouraging excerpts from The Message Proverbs 15. These scriptures speak of the blessing of using our mouth wisely, to the building up of one another.

• A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire.
• Knowledge flows like spring water from the wise; fools are leaky faucets, dripping nonsense.
• Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim.
• Perceptive words spread knowledge; fools are hollow—there’s nothing to them.
• A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.
• An intelligent person is always eager to take in more truth; fools feed on fast-food fads and fancies.
• A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song.
• Hot tempers start fights; a calm, cool spirit keeps the peace.
• Congenial conversation—what a pleasure! The right word at the right time—beautiful!
• GOD can’t stand evil scheming, but he puts words of grace and beauty on display.
• A twinkle in the eye means joy in the heart, and good news makes you feel fit as a fiddle.
• Listen to good advice if you want to live well, an honored guest among wise men and women.

Written by: Martha Rodman

Single ladies, please understand the narrow focus of this article, Let us all take the thoughts and apply them to those closest to you.