Continuing from the last issue, we with a reminder that hospitality must begin in our hearts.  It is the product of God’s love being manifested in our lives.  The nature of God’s love is to share—and that love is poured into our lives and as His vessels, we pour it into others.  One of the tools that is often used to further hospitality is the table.  People eating together set a stage for focused fellowship and the sharing of hearts and ideas.  Jesus took advantage of this setting many times to teach and encourage his disciples.  Many interactions between saint and sinner took place over the table in the New Testament.

How many times in Scripture, do we find people interacting over a table?  Simply reading through the New Testament we discover Jesus eating with all types of people.  Pharisees, publicans, sinners, tax collectors, Peter’s family, the feeding of the five thousand, the four thousand and the discussion with the disciples after the resurrection where Jesus cooked breakfast for the disciples!  I believe the Lord would like to have us develop a bigger picture and expectation over what can happen at a meal.

Our first opportunity to practice hospitality takes place at the family dinner table.  The joy of hospitality and the love of people begin here.
    
Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine    
In the very heart of your house,    
Your children like olive plants    
All around your table.  Psalm 128:3
 
Do you take the time “set” your table?    “To set”—implies placing with intention, purpose and positioning.  I would encourage you to set your table with thoughtfulness.  It’s important to set the tone of interest, encouragement, and fun. Just as you would not set poison on your table, be careful not to bring ridicule, criticism and harshness.  The adding of flowers, candles or other amenities can serve as reminders that this is a place of nurturing and caring—not a battlefield.  Using age appropriate utensils and expectations for your children can help foster a wonderful atmosphere that will cause everyone’s digestion to function easier!
 
You may also incorporate an invitation for others to come and join you at the “family dinner table”.  This is a time where you can simply cook up a bit more spaghetti, make a bigger bowl of salad and add a leaf to the table.  I think this is one of my most favorite ways to include people.  We invite people to simply be a part of who we are, doing what we do.  The focus is on the conversation—not the complex gourmet meal and it is something I can do without a lot of stress.  Of course, I try to have the house picked up, the bathroom clean etc—but we use our everyday dishes and focus on our guests.
 
Spur of the Moment Hospitality

Have you ever tried inviting some people for the Impromptu Spur of the Moment come and hang out event?  This type of gathering usually is reserved for friends who know each other’s lives and schedules well—but how about taking a risk and inviting a new individual or family home for a meal after church?  Yes, they may say no—but maybe they would just say yes!  When we were pastoring Sunday afternoon was not the optimal time for company with an evening service to prepare for and children needing naps—but many times the Holy Spirit would encourage me to simply ask.  Sometimes the folks would thank us and decline, but many times they would accept.  We made it a point to obey the Holy Spirit’s leading and we always reaped benefits.  The downside of this plan is that you have to plan ahead for an expandable menu. For some of you the thought of cooking a meal after the Sunday morning worship marathon has been run is way over the top, so may I make a suggestion?  If your budget allows, restaurants are a nice alternative!     
Ascending up to the more formal hospitality ladder takes a bit more energy and planning, but can be very rewarding if we keep the “heart of hospitality” as our focus.
 
The Informal Planned Gathering

A phone call or a quick note or even a face to face conversation gets the gathering started. Dates, times and purpose can be discussed and settled.  This type of event is usually smaller, setting up a great opportunity to invite people you know and mix them with others that might not be so well acquainted.  These can be themed events, but usually the format is casual and relaxed.  In many settings this is the most common hospitality mode.

The Formally Planned Invited Guest

People are given an invitation several days to weeks in advance.  The invitation sets the tone for the event.  Sending out fun, unique invitations can begin to whet everyone’s appetite for the big event.  These types of events can be planned around celebrations such as holidays, birthday, anniversary, retirement, graduation or a special time to honor an individual. These are the kind of invitations we usually enjoy being invited to—but sometimes fear to initiate.   The purpose, size, atmosphere are determined by your personality and those of the honoree.  If you are a bit nervous about putting on something “large”—maybe you can ask others to join you in hosting this grand event.
 
The Uninvited Guest

I believe one of the most challenging tests of our heart of hospitality occurs when company comes over uninvited.  Abraham looked out of his tent one day and saw three men standing under a tree.  He recognized the Lord had sent them and he received them warmly, taking great care to serve them.  They re-confirmed God’s promise to them of a child.  Abraham received a blessing because he recognized God’s interruption in his life.  How do we handle those types of interruptions?  Do we rush to serve with joy and delight, or do we sullenly put on our company manners, trying to figure out a “nice” way to hurry them on their way?  Of course it depends on the who, the when and the why of each situation, but I would like to encourage us to take the time to check in with the Lord concerning these “uninvited guests”.  How would He have us treat them?       Believe it or not! Chas Meynard of Bordeaux, richest landowner in France, dined 3 times a day for 60 years from an open bureau drawer in order that he could slam it shut if a guest arrived.  This is not quite the spirit of the scripture found in Hebrews 13:2  Stop neglecting to show hospitality to strangers, for by showing hospitality some have had angels as their guests without being aware of it.
 
The Environment  How Clean? How Nice,? Does it have to be?

Someone, having read the first installment, asked me what to do if you feel your home is not “nice enough” or “clean enough” to invite people over.  I know there are many people who feel their home is not ready for visitors.  I believe that God wants you to use what you have, not compare yourself to what others do or don’t have.  I have been learning how to take the things I do have and use them more creatively.  God loves to help us in these practical areas.  I am amazed how He has helped open my eyes to see my home in different perspectives.  He can do the same for you.  Looking at magazines, watching DYI programs or talking with friends can help you grow in this area.  Trust me, this is not my area of expertise, but I have grown in confidence over the years.
    
Our home is an eclectic composite of inherited furniture, a few pieces we have bought over the years and other “findings”.  Could I find fault with it?  Sure, but now the fact that our dining room chairs don’t match is in,  I realized, one day,  that when they were filled with people, you couldn’t see the chairs anyway.  (Now you can see how my mind works).  I would like to have comfortable matching chairs someday, but until then, we will use what we have.
       
If a clean house is standing in your way, my encouragement to you is to move toward getting a control over your home so that you can feel free to invite friends to stop in.  If it is a problem of learning how to develop a rhythm of de-cluttering, cleaning and cooking there is an excellent web site:  FlyLady.net where you can learn how to grow in your cleaning organizational skills (Fly lady stands for: Finally Loving Yourself).  It is a gracious place where you will learn you are not alone, but also where you can learn the basics.  Try it!  If you do not have access to the web, there is a book entitled “Sink Reflections” by Marla Cilley.
        
If you feel your cooking skills are not up to par—just cook something simple or share the load by inviting folks to a pot-blessing.  It doesn’t have to be fancy.  Remember the focus is on the people not the food.
  
Conversation

What to talk about?  Perhaps you have a shy personality and wonder “what will we talk about?”  First talk to the Lord about your guests.  Ask Him to bless your fellowship and to lead and guide your conversation.  Ask Him to help you love them in a new and deeper level. Begin to focus on the persons you have invited and try to put yourself into their situations.  Ask questions that you care about, because then you will listen to the answer.  Most people love to talk about what they are doing.  We have found a wonderful connecting point with many couples begins with “tell us how you met”.  You learn a lot about both people!  While we were in Ghana we witnessed a wonderful routine that we try to remember to put into place in our home.  That is the blessing of praying with your guests before they leave.  We don’t always remember to include it, but it is always a joy when we do.
        
I pray that this look at hospitality will inspire you to grow in this wonderful opportunity to share God’s love.
 
Written by: Martha Rodman