It had been a trying and tiring Sunday with the evening service was drawing near. I gathered a few toys together, plus my Bible and notebook, picked up the infant seat containing our two month old daughter, Elizabeth, took the hand of our 23 month old first born and struggled into the sanctuary. Whew—we made it on time.

As we were in the early stages of pioneering this church, we had no nursery. I was adjusting to being a mother of two. Rosanna was adjusting to being a “big sister” and sharing her mom. She was quite tired and wasn’t listening too well to my instructions to sit still. I picked her up and took her out.

As I bent down, with intentions to “re-enforce” my instructions with a little swat, I remember talking to her and saying “You know you don’t act that way in church”. The Holy Spirit stopped me short “How does she know that?” “Who taught her? How does she know what to do?” In the twinkling of an eye, I realized that proper church behavior is not inherited through the genes. She would not know how to behave or what to expect, unless someone taught her. (Remember I was a first time mom).

What a lesson! How many times have we, as mothers, had expectations for our children, assuming they should “know better” when they have never been taught or trained in that area? How many times have we as leaders in the body of Christ been guilty of assuming others should “know better” when they haven’t been taught either?

From that time on, I began to teach and train Rosanna. I asked the Lord for wisdom on what I needed to teach her and how to go about it. I began by simply explaining what a church service was all about. How it was a special time for us to sing and talk to Jesus, to let Him talk to us through the Bible and others. I tried to share it very simply. I also tried to make it fun as well as instructive. Later on, after my other children came along we added some listening skills. For example: I would have them make a mark on a piece of paper every time a certain word (like Jesus, God etc.) was mentioned by the preacher. When they were smaller, and couldn’t read, I would draw a cross or smiley face to represent God or Jesus so they could know where to make their marks. When our son was younger we had a Wednesday evening service with handouts. I had him follow along by circling different letters on the paper. I always gave him his own copy—because church was for him as well as everyone else.

In the natural, a new born babe brings much excitement. We watch with delight and joy as they make their first smile, get that first tooth, and take their first steps. However, as the child grows up and begins to explore their world a transition occurs. The “terrible twos”, the “troubling threes” etc. arrive and the work of molding this young one into a productive person begins in earnest. It’s at this stage that true love and commitment to this little one must be accessed. A parent must love this little one enough to teach and train her in the way she should go.

But what happens in the church? We get excited on birth days. We rejoice when the altar is full, but what happens later? Do we settle in and begin to really train this new believer to his/her fullest potential? Do we understand that a “new babe in Christ” needs to be taught the fundamentals of Christ so they can grow from drinking the milk of the Word to the meat of obedience? This is a process. We must not forget these times of transitions. Children start with milk, move through the cereal phase, and then eat food that has been pureed. The pureed foods are then given a little more substance, with some chunks etc. Then the child begins to feed himself and that can get very messy. Once they are proficient with a spoon they move on to the fork and knife. However, even older children may still need help cutting their meat.

It is easy to tell when children are children by their size and shape. But it is not always so for spiritual children. We may find ourselves expecting others to be older than they are; to have learned things that they may have never been taught. Different church “cultures” emphasize different things. Some may have strong emphasis on faith and the Word, while others major on the importance of worship or witnessing. Just a reminder: before a judgment is passed “they should know better”, be sure they have been taught it in the first place.

How do we help young ones to grow in the Lord? How did Jesus learn? Now so it was that after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. Luke 2:46 We find Jesus sitting in the temple—both listening and asking questions. New believers have the opportunity to do listening during our worship services, but what about the asking of questions? We as leaders can make ourselves available. We can share our hearts and simply tell younger ones that we are willing to help them learn and grow. However, our attitude must be right, and sometimes that is hard. I taught junior high/middle school. So many people asked me, how can you teach them? They are weird! Yes, and spiritual adolescents can be challenging as well.

1 Corinthians 13:6 declares that love…believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

We begin by determining to love them. Some babies aren’t as naturally lovable as others. Babies are different. Some children are colicky, cranky and don’t sleep. Some spiritual babes come to the kingdom with all kinds of questions, asking “why do we do it that way” “what does that mean?” It can either make you excited or frustrated! I believe that we need to check our thinking every once in a while to make sure our attitudes toward the young ones stay positive. We don’t want to become cranky spiritual grandmas or grandpas. So our first step is to seek for God’s love to be poured out in our hearts for young ones.

Love…believes all things.
(Believe: to have a firm conviction as to the goodness, efficacy, or ability of something )
As leaders, what do we believe about the people we are influencing? Do we believe that they have a purpose in the kingdom to fulfill? Do we believe that the Holy Spirit can help them get there? Do we believe that God’s grace is so sufficient that we are confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in [them] you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6

Love...hopes all things. (Hope: to expect with confidence)
What are you hoping for them? Did anyone have hope for you? How did that affect your life? Do you expect with confidence that these young ones will succeed in what God has called them to? As we release our hope and faith for others it encourages them to go and grow! We do not boast therefore, beyond our proper limit, over other men’s labors, but we have the hope and confident expectation that as your [their] faith continues to grow, our field among you may be greatly enlarged. 2 Corinthians 10:13 (Amplified)

Love…endures all things. Endures: to remain firm under suffering or misfortune without yielding.
Endurance is not fun. It takes the grace of God to stand firm in the midst of trouble and difficulties. Helping others grow and change isn’t easy. Sometimes, we have to share godly advice, watch it be ignored, the side effects take place and then still stand by to help pick up the pieces. That is not the fun part of helping others learn, but it is what Jesus has done and continues to do for us.

If we want to help the next generation of believers to grow strong in the ways of the Lord, we must give of ourselves to them with faith, hope and endurance. As we do, God will bless and they might possibly grow past us and turn around and help us step up a notch or two! How awesome that will be!

Written by: Martha Rodman

Suggestions: Trying journaling the answers to the questions found in the article for deeper thought and revelation.