What every joint supplies continued: It is God’s desire that we be knitted together and take care of one another.

For because of Him the whole body (the church, in all its various parts), closely joined and firmly knit together by the joints and ligaments with which it is supplied, when each part is working properly [in all its functions], grows to full maturity, building itself up in love Ephesians 4:16

Joints are where connections take place. They bring stability, movement, and flexibility to our physical body. Without our joint system functioning, movement is impossible.

The Problem: There are places in the Body of Christ where this connection has not taken place. Why? We still feel alone. Our people feel alone. How do we help them? 55% of non-Christian Americans believe it is becoming more difficult to make lasting friendships. 62% of born-again Christians say the same. H.B. London Jr., vice-president of pastoral ministries for Focus on the Family, say that at least 70% of pastors in America claim they have no friends. (Counterfeit Community, by Charles Crismer, “Ministry Today” magazine. Nov/Dec 05, pg. 56.)

This is major disconnection! Perhaps someone reading this article can relate. You feel alone. You have not yet found a way to connect. There is no simple answer to this question. And yet, you need the strength, nutrition and protection that come from being “firmly knit together”. Too many parts of the body being so loosely connected cause injuries. The twisting of thoughts, swelling of one’s own importance, the heat of anger over a miss-step done by someone else, are all types of injuries that can take place in our relationships when our joints are not secure.

Two Connection Solutions:

The Solution 1: Blame the leadership. Blame the Congregation, and forget about connecting all together. Leaders can blame “the people”; congregations can blame “the leaders”. Both sides can blame Satan. And in part all would have some valid points.

Does this Solution work? No. It just makes Satan happy. At the end of it all, blame does no good. Blame doesn’t fix anything, nor does it cause any but the most fleeting sense of superiority to the “blamer”.

The Solution 2: Join the church. Does simply joining a church make you joined? The process of joining a church is often an outward form symbolizing an inward commitment People are invited to say a prayer of repentance, receive Jesus as Savior and then soon after to “join” the local church. Sometimes there’s a class to take, an interview to complete or even forms to fill out, but at the end of the process the person is now a member of “First Church”. But have they really “joined”? Has the inward commitment between the body and the new member occurred? Most of the people in the above survey consider themselves “members of a local church”. Yet they feel it is difficult to make lasting friendships.

Does the Solution work? It is not enough. We need true community in our churches and small groups. The book of Acts describes the wonderful community the early disciples shared. All the believers continued together in close fellowship and shared their belongings with one another. They would sell their property and possessions, and distribute the money among all, according to what each one needed. Day after day they met as a group in the Temple, and they had their meals together in their homes, eating with glad and humble hearts, praising God, and enjoying the good will of all the people. And every day the Lord added to their group those who were being saved. Acts 2:44-47

A community is defined as place where people have common interests living in a particular area. The commonality we share as believers is the desire to become Jesus’ disciples. I have several skeins of yarn in my cupboard. Are they useful? Not really. It is not until they have been knitted into their purpose they aren’t fulfilling their function. It is the same with members of a church. Members must be knitted together with their local body and be used to build something. This is how their full value is fulfilled.

How do we get authentic community?

1. Get close to God. To be able to supply good things to others, we first need to be connected to the Head. Walking in the knowledge of His love, grace, position brings security to us as individuals, and releases us to more freely connect with others.

2. Get Close to Others. We must be close to one another to give and receive, which means spending time interacting together. Many people believe that all they need is Jesus to grow. However, a closer study of the Word reveals that God Himself has orchestrated the need for us to gain from one another. Acts 2:45 states that they sold their possessions to help one another. Are we close enough to others to know their needs, spiritually, emotionally, physically? This takes time. Galatians 6:2 Bear (endure, carry) one another’s burdens and troublesome moral faults, and in this way fulfill and observe perfectly the law of Christ (the Messiah) and complete what is lacking [in your obedience to it].

3. Mentoring. In many Christian circles there is a strong teaching that each person should be connected to a person who is more mature than they, where they can be instructed and encouraged. That same person should also be encouraging and instructing those younger than themselves. This is an excellent model of 2 Timothy, where the older women are instructed to teach the younger women.

4. Submit to God’s wisdom: we need to be joined together. Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecc 4:9-12

Years ago I read a book by Leith Anderson. In this book, he gives an analogy using the children’s toy, Lego's. Lego's are separate little bricks composed of stubs where another Lego can be connected. In using this analogy, Mr. Anderson compared people’s ability to receive new “joinings” or connections are based on the size of their specific design and calling. A Lego can be 1 x 6’s. 2 x 4’s, 2 x 8 etc, depending on the number of “stubs”. Mr. Anderson’s analogy of using Lego’s centered around the fact that each Lego only contains so many connecting points. Once they are full, they are full. You have to remove something in order to add new bricks. People seem to have a limit of “connections” as well.

So how do we enlarge our ability to connect with others?

As I was pondering this problem, God reminded me of when I was expecting our second child. I remember sitting on the couch with Rosanna who was then not yet two. As we were reading and sharing I remember praying, “God how can I possibly love this other child as much as I do Rosanna?” It is one of the mysteries of the world. But as soon as I saw Elizabeth, I had such an overwhelming love for her, but that did not dissipate the love I had for Rosanna. He said the answer is simple, ask Him to enlarge our heart with His love.

Father, I ask you to enlarge our hearts with your genuine love. Teach us to love with your love, those whom you love. Teach us to love those who are not like us. The disciples were first called Christians because they behaved like you. Help us to allow you to conform us to your thoughts, and attitudes of those around us. Help others to identify us as Christians because of how they see how much we love one another, not just in word, but also in deed. We need your help in this. In Jesus name, Amen

Article written: Martha Rodman