Those of us, who own our own home, are aware of the need for home maintenance and periodic inspection.   For those of you who do not own your own home, every building must have its various systems inspected to stay safe for the inhabitants.  This is not fun.  It is not always cheap, but in the long run it can save much money and heartache.   It is the same with our “emotional homes”, we need to do periodic inspections to make sure our relationships are being maintained to avoid costly or needless heartache.
 
The Foundation:   Our relationship foundation must be built on truth and honesty.  Many times “bugs” will be drawn to the foundation of our lives.  These damaging insects can be quite small, and seemingly harmless.  The little irritations of left opened cupboard door, the forgetfulness of a checkbook entry or a lack of a phone call can begin subtle erosion of relationship, if they are not dealt with.  For no other foundation can anyone lay, than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 3:11
 
The Roof:  Check for a leaking roof.  Are there elements of the world entering into your sanctuary?  Thoughts, standards or pressures can begin to press in from the outside, causing damage to your relationships as well.  Make sure you stay under the vows of love and the covenant with the Lord and each other so you can endure the storms of adversity that come your way.  He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge, my fortress; My God and in Him will I trust. Psalm 91: 1,2
 
The Electrical:  Check for faulty wires and shorts which could lead to fires.  Be careful with sharp objects (like words or looks) which could lead to dangerous flare ups or smoldering fires. Kind words heal and help, cutting words cut and maim.  Proverbs 15:4  The Message
 
The Windows:  Check your hearts for transparency with God and one another.  Keeping them free from obstacles that would keep you from intimacy.  Keep your perspectives clear and your vision unhampered.  Check for any drafts that would bring coldness into your relationships.  If people can’t see what God is doing, they stumble all over themselves, but when they attend to what He reveals, they are most blessed.  Proverbs 29:18  The Message
 
Clutter:  Although this isn’t technically a “system”; it can affect every aspect of your life.  The debris left from unfinished conversations, cluttered thoughts or assumptions can promote the environment for the insects mentioned above.  Take the time to resolve conflict.  Deal with any baggage from the past.  Put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you so you also must do. Colossians 3: 12-13.
 
There are two aspects of living safely with others.  To set yourself to protect one another, and to set your self to promote one another.  Darryl has coined a phrase.  “Our homes should be the safest place on the planet.”  This takes time, diligence and maturing.  It is not easy, but it is well worth the effort to build a safe sanctuary for our families, our friends and those we hope to influence for His Kingdom’s sake.
 
This article is an adaptation from a joint teaching Darryl and I gave for the Couples Night Out at Living Word Fellowship, Voluntown, CT.