Picture a plant being transplanted into a garden. This soil has been tilled and softened, rocks removed. The plant is placed into the ground, its roots begin to reach deep into the earth, becoming strong and fruitful. The gardener has faith that this plant will grow and bear fruit. He expects that, periodically, the plant will still need to be checked for insects, diseases and be pruned. This plant has been “accepted”.

Picture a sister plant. It too, is placed into a garden. But no preparation has been made to receive this plant. As it begins to extend its roots it runs into dry, hardened soil and rocks. Much energy must be expended by this plant in order for it to simply survive. Its fruit bearing ability will naturally be diminished. The gardener is waiting to see if it is a “good” plant or a “bad” plant. If it is a “good” plant it will grow and survive in the garden, if it is a “bad” plant it won’t. As a result, this plant will spend most of its energy proving its worthiness to dwell in the garden. This, unfortunately, comes from a legalistic, works oriented approach to leadership.

These two scenarios reflect leadership styles. Each leader is looking for new plants (people) to add to their garden (team). One leader has developed an understanding that for people to grow and thrive, they need to feel welcomed and accepted on a very personal level. This takes time and preparation. Leaders, who comprehend in their own soul that every team member has been proved worthy, not by their own merits, but by the work of the cross and the blood of Jesus Christ, builds a platform of acceptance.

Paul writes in Romans 15:7,Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. The Amplified states it even more clearly, Welcome and receive [to your hearts] one another, then, even as Christ has welcomed and received you, for the glory of God.

Each of us can grow in our ability to receive and welcome others into our hearts. The more we understand that we are received and welcomed into God’s heart and family, the easier it is to accept both those like ourselves and those who are different.

Adam and Eve were created in total acceptance. God’s plan was for them to flourish in the garden, walking and talking with God in complete relaxation and comfort. When sin entered into the world, it created fear and distrust of God’s acceptance and approval. Through Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, God brought about reconciliation in our relationship to Him, and we were restored to acceptance. This acceptance is not easy for many people to receive. They spend much of their life trying to access this acceptance through works, self justification or attempting to keep the law. As leaders it is important for us to be honest on how we ourselves have embraced this acceptance for we cannot take people any farther than we have gone. The leader can help facilitate the followers to experience the acceptance of Christ through their acceptance of the follower.

Taking time to allow the Holy Spirit to bring revelation about this topic is crucial. Otherwise, you may be saying the “right” things, but communicating judgment and the need of “good works” for acceptance. It sets up a vicious cycle so the team member’s perception is that they are not quite good enough and so they strive much harder for acceptance. This is counter-productive.

Fostering acceptance begins with the leader. It is something that the leader needs to communicate often. A wise leader removes the “rocks” of sarcasm, negativity and non helpful critical judgment. A greater degree of acceptance needs to be developed if those following a leader never feel quite secure in their relationship with that leader, or if they are always wondering if they have “measured up to the mark”. Unfortunately, their best gifts will never be able to be developed because there will be a withholding of themselves for fear of failure to meet the leaders standards.

Many leaders fear that if a culture of acceptance is developed, then they have to forego standards or expectations of excellence. This is just the reverse. When an atmosphere of acceptance is set, people feel freer to allow their inner weaknesses and struggles to be revealed, and therefore can receive the help needed to grow and change!

The blessing of creating an accepting culture is the awareness that every person, including the leader can be free to be themselves, in Christ, with their strengths and their weaknesses. What a safe place this is. A place where people can deal with their weaknesses, but still be valued for who they are.

Written by:Martha Rodman