Psalm 127:3-5
Sons are a heritage from the Lord, Children a reward from him
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior, Are sons born in one’s youth
Blessed the man whose quiver is full of them
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Most parents are almost too aware of the major enemies their children must face as they leave home. Yet at the same time many seem to be clueless and almost paralyzed on how to prepare their children to contend with these enemies. How comforting to know that our children can be so prepared that when they contend with their enemies in the gate they will not be ashamed. Preparation of their hearts and lives within the sanctuary of their home secures these victories.

One of the clues in this chapter on how children are prepared to contend is the analogy of our children being like “arrows in the hand of a warrior”. The warrior is most aware of his enemies. He fashions and forms his arrows to hit their mark, knowing that it could mean the difference between life and death. He works with a stick, but he does not simply see a “stick”. He sees the arrow that it will become through hard work, time and effort. Each arrow was hand shaped, with its purpose in mind. Would it become an arrow for large game? Small game? Or would it be used in actual combat? The purpose for the arrow was never far from the arrow maker’s mind. They were part of the warrior’s armor for survival.

Children are not born straight, honed and ready to be launched. They need much personal handling to remove extra bumps and blemishes that would prevent them from hitting the target God has planned for them. Instruction, training and working with the “stick” turns the unformed child into an arrow which can be shot with purpose and intention. The arrow maker works with the bent of the stick using the pressure of his hand or some heat to straighten the arrow. This takes time and patience.

God forms and shapes each child in their mothers womb, mysteriously mixing His call and purpose with the two parents genetic material to form a person with destiny. Wise parents begin to pray for insight as they watch to see how their child is “bent”, working with God given personality, talents and dreams. Arrow makers strive to make a well balanced arrow. Parents need to consider the same.

Children need help in all aspects of life. Some seem more practical and some more spiritual. But all are important for a healthy, balanced adult. The areas of learning how to be a good friend, how to make decisions (plus deal with their consequences), as well as helping children learn the value of money all will give them an edge when they face “enemies of the gate”. It is vitally important children are taught how to handle their God-given emotions. Allowing them to acknowledge that God gave them the ability to be happy, sad and even mad, will equip them to succeed in the real world outside the gates of their home. Children, who are trained to control their anger, not let their anger control them will be much more successful in the work place, in marriage and in their life generally.

Help children learn how to make decisions. Help them learn to deal with poor choices and examine the fruit of those choices. This adds value to their lives. Teaching them to face honestly their own strengths and weaknesses with grace is vitally important. Learning how to handle their feelings will help fortify them from the temptation find refuge in drugs, alcohol or sex.

Sound overwhelming? Don’t worry! You have been gifted to do this. We must release our faith that God has placed this child in your life because He knows you can raise them. Effectual parenting necessitates a leaning on the Holy Spirit for wisdom, guidance as well as grace. There are many books available to help bring understanding to the different ways children learn, deal with their fears and approach life during the different stages of their development.

What if you feel that some of those areas still need work in your own life? As parents and leaders, we must conquer our own enemies to help our children face theirs. The Holy Spirit is there to do that work in us as well. He will probably use our kids to help us learn those lessons. Because the best teacher is our example, and they are watching.
Martha Rodman