The last two issues we have been focusing on “Friendship Matters”. This poem reflects the desperate need for godly friendship and is a reminder of the needs of those we have been called to serve.

My Friend
My friend, please hear me -
I want to tell you about the pain in my heart
I want to share it, I want you to know –
I don’t want to burden you though.
Sometimes I feel that I might be too much
Weighing you down as I share;
Sometimes I feel you won’t want to know –
It’s not that I don’t think you care.
My friend I’m scared, I’m full of fear,
Afraid that you’ll withdraw
Afraid of rejection, adding to pain
I want you as never before.
I’m feeling worthless, useless, empty, nothing.
I’m feeling dirty, guilty, filled with shame.
My friend, please stay near,
While I learn that I’m not to blame.
When out of fear I push you away
Please be patient -
Say I’m doing OK.
I need you my friend.
The ultimate friend we all have is Jesus
I need to draw close to Him -
But will you be His arms and hold me tight?
Will you show His love as I go through this fight?
My friend, I want something to give back to you
But right now I don’t seem to have it.
Tell me you’re with me as far as can be
I’ll learn to accept that you love me for me.

Reading through this poem, and thinking about the subject ‘Friendship Matters’, I am reminded of a prophetic word I was given back in 1989. The Lord said two things to me in that word – He said that He would take my heart of fear, and He said that He would always put the right people at my side. I had been ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (M.E.) for about 3 years by then, although I was struggling on and living in denial as far as possible! My full and complete healing was to come some 16 years later, on 1st April 2005. As I look back on my journey through illness and disability I see so clearly the fulfillment of that prophecy. God did take my heart of fear (very specifically on the night of 15th December 2003 – that’s another story!) but I am thinking more in this context of Him ‘putting the right people at my side’- Friends.

Without the right friends – and the right mix of friends too – my journey to healing just would not have happened. God positioned friends who listened, friends who counseled wisely, friends who challenged, friends who did my washing, shopping and housework, friends who fought for me in the medical system, friends who laughed with me, friends who accepted me without judgment, friends who respected me for the little I could give, friends who encouraged, friends who cared in so many ways – and, of course, many praying friends too. Over the 18 years of my illness I moved house and moved area a number of times. God positioned friends who I lived with at times, friends who helped me move house at others. He positioned different friends in different places and for different moments. Some of those friends I had known for many years, some were new. Some have remained firm friends and some were for a season. All were used of God, positioned by Him for the fulfilling of that word. Without any one of them my journey would have been at best, more difficult than it need have been, at worst, impossible. I thank God for each one and for their availability to God. I thank Him that He knew just what sort of friend I needed at any given time!

Most of all I thank Him that He was, is and always will be, the ultimate friend – He is all thing at all times, and always there for me. At times I have clung to His friendship, unable to formulate a prayer, but repeating the Name of Jesus in my desperation – He always responded. He is my ultimate best friend.

God is still positioning friends around me. Sometimes, when I get too busy, I hardly notice they’re there. Even the writing of this testimony challenges me to appreciate my friends – and to be sure too that I am being a friend, as and how God is leading me to be. This is just my story….. it is mind-blowing to think how God is positioning ‘friends’ to give and receive and to be part of each other’s stories of the fulfilling of His purposes, all over the world!

My name is Claire Watts, and I live with my husband Brian on the east coast of England, in a small place called Belton. God has called us to establish a ministry called HeArt Release, seeking to see hearts (both of individuals and of the community) released to receive the blessings of God. We run ‘creative release’ workshops, support and encourage individuals, and serve the community in the name of Jesus, sometimes using art and craft activities, sometimes simply listening, caring and carrying the fragrance of Jesus to those who don’t yet know Him. We give glory to God for His work in our lives!

If anyone desires more information concerning HeArt Release, you can contact them at :
Clairewatts2605@AOL.com