Old friends, new friends. Always room for one more! When I was a young girl I belonged to Brownies. We had to learn the “Brownie song”. “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold”. Old friends are wonderful. Old friends bring the treasure of shared memories and history together, the “remember when” type of memories. New friends are wonderful. They are part of the “unknown”. What will develop? What has God in store for this relationship? They are a treasure buried treasure waiting to be discovered.

Friendship can be defined as a relationship that consists of mutual knowledge, esteem and affection. Growing up as an avid reader many of the stories I read had to do with two girls who were “best friends”. In grade school there was much competition to who was your “best friend.” This progressed to junior high and high school where friendships seemed to be based on the “ins and the outs”. Somehow the joy of friendship was negated by the insecurities of the developing teenager’s psyche. This false assumption that the best and finest state was to have “one best friend” was difficult to overthrow. Where was that “soul mate”? Where was she hiding, and why couldn’t I be “good enough” to find her? Slowly through that swampy time of life, without a “best friend” God came into my life. He became my confidant. He became my best friend, a friend who would never leave me or forsake me. Wandering into the woods behind our childhood home, I would climb into a fallen tree and simply share my soul. He was my Friend, and continues to be so. By learning from Him about friendship, I have become a better friend.

As I have matured, I recognize that God has designed each of us to need human friends as well. However, I no longer believe there is one friend who is able to meet every need. By widening the definition of “friendship” I have enlarged and enhanced my world tremendously. By allowing the Holy Spirit to bring His connections into my life has brought many varied and life giving relationships. As an insecure and immature teen most of my “friends” were based on what they added to MY life. It was mostly about me. Allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal His plan and purpose for each relationship has removed most of the fear factors so I don’t look through the filter of “suppose they hurt me?” “Can I trust them?” I find myself trusting Him and believing that His purpose will override and cover any hurt received or given on my side. I have learned that becoming a godly friend means walking in maturity. Quickly applying the tools of forgiveness, understanding and mercy has helped me maintain precious long term relationships. My friends, I am sure, have had to apply those tools on their side as well!

Why do we need friends? Remember God’s declaration in the Garden of Eden? “It is not good for man to be alone?” God intended for people to work together, share together and serve Him together. Psalm 27:9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. Walking through this life alone is not good. We must trust the truth of Amos 3: 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Let’s get honest. Many times in ministry you may find people who let you down. Those who seem to misunderstand everything you do and there are some who have to deal with “friends” who seem to be like a Judas. If this happens, count it joy, for you have entered into the sufferings of Christ. He understands and will bring comfort, wisdom and healing to those disillusioned parts. But this does not negate the fact that you need relationships. I am so thankful for my friends who have listened, prayed and helped me through some deep waters. God sent them into my life and if I had been too guarded, afraid and disconnected I would not have had the blessing of their sweet perfume in my life. Proverbs 25:11-13 from the Message Bible states: The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry, And a wise friend’s timely reprimand is like a gold ring slipped on your finger. Reliable friends who do what they say are like cool drinks in sweltering heat—refreshing.We will be exploring the topic of friendship in the November issue. It has many different facets.

May the Friend of sinners and saints come into your life now and strengthen you in every portion of your being. May His grace touch each of you, my friend. If you need a friend, I am available. I am not perfect, but I am growing! There are some very lonely ladies who struggle in this area. My heart cry is that you never need to feel alone in the midst of your struggles, your troubles or your joys! We are here for you. Give us a call or an email. Please remember we pray for you!